When you have learnt a large stock of good phrases, compositions can sound polished yet empty. The reader cannot tell what actually happened, because the phrases carry the page instead of the event.
This page shows how to keep the language skill and add substance. It fits inside narrative composition within SPM Bahasa Cina.
What does this feel like?
You may recognise these thoughts.
- “I use the idioms my teacher gave me, but the marks are average.”
- “My composition looks good, but I cannot say what makes it mine.”
- “I run out of things to write unless I add more beautiful sentences.”
That last thought is the clue. Extra phrases fill space. Extra detail moves the story.
What usually causes it?
Memorised phrases are safe, and safety is attractive in an exam. The cost is that each phrase can sit in any story, so it tells the reader nothing specific about this one.
Another cause is planning by phrases instead of events. If you plan “开头用一句名言，中间写努力，结尾用成语”, you have a decorative outline, not a story outline.
A before-and-after example
Here is an original paragraph about a student preparing for a debate.
Before: 那天的天空万里无云，我怀着忐忑不安的心情走进教室。同学们个个全神贯注，整个教室鸦雀无声。我深深吸了一口气，心想一定要尽力而为。
The paragraph has five stock phrases and no fact. We cannot tell what the debate is about or why the writer is nervous.
After: 点名的时候，我的手心已经湿了。桌上的讲稿被我捏出了一道折痕，第一句话我在心里默念了六遍。轮到我的时候，我先看了看坐在第二排的李老师，她点了点头。
The rewrite gives one object, one number and one person. The feeling of nerves is never named, yet the reader feels it. No idiom is needed to carry the feeling.
A four-question test for any memorised phrase
Before keeping a phrase, ask these questions.
- Could this phrase appear in a different composition about a different event?
- Does it name a feeling when I could show the action?
- Is it in the sentence because it sounds good, or because it is needed?
- If I cut it, does the reader lose information?
Cut the phrase if you answer yes to question 1 or 2, “because it sounds good” to question 3, or no to question 4. Write one specific detail in its place.
How can you build the habit?
Use this routine for a short period each day.
- Choose one memorised paragraph from your notebook.
- Underline every phrase that could fit any story.
- Replace each with one object, action or line of speech from a real moment.
- Read the result aloud to see whether it sounds like you.
The revising an original Chinese narrative route has more rewrite exercises. The composition structure planner helps you plan around events instead of phrases.
When could one-to-one tuition be worth considering?
Self-revision works if you can see the difference between a specific line and a stock one. If your own paragraphs all feel specific to you yet still score as generic, an outside reader can help.
A one-to-one teacher reads your compositions in Chinese, marks the lines that could be in anyone’s story, and asks for the detail behind them. See online one-to-one Chinese tuition for what to include in your first message.