Revising a narrative means reading your own draft the way a stranger would. This section gives four passes, in an order that protects your time: the event, the character, the sentences, then the ending.
It builds on narrative composition. Examples are in Chinese, with English explanation.
What are the four passes?
| Pass | Question | Lesson |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Is this one significant event, or a whole day? | Choosing a significant event |
| 2 | Do actions show the change, or do labels tell it? | Developing a character change |
| 3 | Does each phrase carry meaning, or only decorate? | Removing decorative phrases |
| 4 | Does the ending follow from the story? | Revising the ending |
One short example across the passes
First draft: “今天天气晴朗，阳光灿烂，我和同学去参加学校的运动会。早上我们先集合，然后做热身，然后比赛。
我很勇敢，跑得很快。结果我赢了，我很开心。”
- Pass 1: The draft runs through the whole morning. Keep one moment, the start of the 400 metres, and cut the rest.
- Pass 2: “我很勇敢” is a label. Show it: “枪声响起前，我的腿在发抖，却还是踏上了起跑线。”
- Pass 3: “天气晴朗，阳光灿烂” says one thing twice and does nothing. Remove it.
- Pass 4: “我赢了，我很开心” is sudden. End on the trembling legs that now stand still at the finish line.
Each pass makes the draft shorter and clearer, not longer.
Who should start where?
- Drafts that cover a whole day: begin with pass 1.
- Drafts where the main character stays the same: begin with pass 2.
- Drafts full of memorised phrases: begin with pass 3.
- Drafts with a rushed final line: begin with pass 4.
Try all four passes on the revision practice set, and keep your draft plan in the Chinese composition structure planner. Log the faults you find with the mistake log and paper-error review.
For a teacher to go through your own draft, see online one-to-one Chinese tuition.