Cutting repetition makes an answer clearer, but the details the task asks for must stay. Mark those details first, then keep, combine or cut each repeated sentence.
This lesson is part of revising an English response without replacing the student voice. It supports the language check in balancing content, organisation and language.
How do you decide what to cut?
Go through the paragraph one sentence at a time. Keep a sentence if it carries a required detail. Combine it with another if it partly repeats that sentence. Cut it if it adds nothing new.
Worked example: the swimming carnival
Task: write a notice about the school swimming carnival. Include the date, the place, and what students should bring.
Before. “The school swimming carnival is on Friday 14 June. The carnival will be on Friday 14 June at the school pool. The pool is at school.”
“Students must bring a towel and swimming goggles. Students should bring a towel. Please remember to bring your towel and goggles.”
Underline the required details: Friday 14 June, the school pool, towel and goggles. Each one appears more than once.
| Sentence | Decision |
|---|---|
| “The school swimming carnival is on Friday 14 June.” | Keep: date |
| “The carnival will be on Friday 14 June at the school pool.” | Combine with the first: adds the place |
| “The pool is at school.” | Cut: already said |
| “Students must bring a towel and swimming goggles.” | Keep: what to bring |
| “Students should bring a towel.” | Cut: repeats the previous sentence |
| “Please remember to bring your towel and goggles.” | Cut, or turn into a closing reminder |
After. “The school swimming carnival will be held at the school pool on Friday 14 June. Students must bring a towel and swimming goggles.”
The notice is much shorter, and all three required details remain.
The mistake that loses marks
The common slip is to cut by feel and remove the only sentence that mentioned a detail. A shorter answer that drops the place or the date is worse than a longer one.
The repair is to check the required list after editing. If each detail still appears once, the cut is safe.
Check yourself
Tighten this and keep the date, the place and the time: “The meeting is on Monday. The meeting is at 3 p.m. The meeting is in the school hall. Everyone must come to the meeting on Monday at 3 p.m.”
Answer
“The meeting will be held in the school hall on Monday at 3 p.m.”
The date (Monday), time (3 p.m.) and place (school hall) each appear once. The last sentence added nothing new, so it is cut, and the three short sentences are combined.
What to study next
Try all four revision skills together in the practice set for this topic. Use the English writing task checklist to list the required details before you cut.
If you would like a teacher to go through your own paragraphs, see online one-to-one English tuition.